new

To be completely honest it's kind of a weird time for me. Everyone keeps asking if im excited to move out, anxious or nervous, and i am, but a word rarely used or asked for that matter is upset. Now i'm not wondering why the word isnt used, because this is something i have wanted for so long. I keep myself up at night thinking just how im going to decorate my apartment , or the kind of gatherings and other festivities im going to have. Its freedom. It's me on my own, with myself held fully responsible. However, scared isnt the word or feeling that comes to mind. I'm sitting in my room ive spent hours emptying out, going through dusty drawers and forgotten spaces sorting out my things, ... making executive decisions on just what to part with, and as this room has been trampled through, and torn apart. It's now empty. It's what ive spent years putting together and its alll taken out.

Its now that the room evokes that word. I'm sad. Lame word... yes. But im sad. Its not that im going far. Its that im not living where i have for years or having my mom across the hall. Its not being in this room.

It's just really different